What really matters... just doesn't.

These past few weeks have been filled with heartache, tears, laughs, old friends, and fond memories.

My friend Chris Champion lost his battle to cancer.

It is so hard to let go of someone when they are so young. Even though our Lord took him at 20, he still touched more people than I can ever imagine to.

Chris was full of God's love. He was strong in his faith and never lost sight of who God was even when the cancer wouldn't let up.

I am so proud of him. I don't know what else to say. I will always admire him. He was just as great of a man as his father was.

I miss them both terribly.

I am not going to pretend that I understand why God needed to take both John and Chris because I really don't.

I am not going to pretend that I understand why a family that I love has to suffer with the loss of two loved ones within months of eachother.

Chris' Memorial was beautiful.

I do know that Chris is no longer suffering.

He is walking right now with God.
How I so longed for him to be able to get out of his bed and walk and now he can.

Thank you Jesus.

I wish I could have been there to see Chris and his father hug for the first time in months. What an amazing sight.

It brings a sense of comfort knowing that John was able to be there first and was able to greet Chris.

Luckily I don't have so say good bye because for us death has no sting only a promise of eternity with our Lord.

So see you later Chrissy Poo.

With all that said I just wanted to share something I learned this weekend.

Since Chris passed I feel as if there is this weight upon my heart.

I feel as if things that mattered to me really just don't.

There are more important things in life than holding onto hurt.

I was able to see my mom's dad Ted this weekend at a wedding. I must admit when I thought about how I was going to interact with him I just cringed. He has done and said some pretty hurtful things to my family. The last time I saw him I said something very hurtful and I don't think he really understood why I said it, but when I saw him on Saturday night my first thought was Chris. I want to be able to make the impact that Chris made on all of his friends and family. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of guilt. What would God want me to do?

What did I want to do?

It was as if that weight was lifted and I just didn't care anymore. Everything that happened in the past was just that. The past. It didn't matter.

I quitely got up from my table and walked over to Ted and wrapped my arms around him and and said "Grandpa I love you and I am sorry" and that was it. From there God just helped us talk about things.

Things are not great between us. I really barely know the man, but God opened up a window and helped me.

Thank you Lord.

And thank you Chris for being such a great example in my life.

All glory and praise be to you God.

Forever.